Walking away
by RositaLG
Summary: When the Gilmore Girls road trip to North Carolina, Rory meets an old friend. But they've both changed, can they help heal each other? My take on Gilmore Girls Only Season seven, episode seventeen
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: When I saw the previews for the road trip to North Carolina (7x17), I knew I had some serious writing to do. It's almost too perfect. Everything that happened on the show happened here, except Logan never came after Rory. Enjoy!

Rory, Lorelei and Emily sat down in the restaurant. Emily took a look around her and cringed.

"I can't believe we are sitting here. Who knows what kinds of diseases this place is carrying."

"Grandma, I'm sure this place is fine." Rory said, trying not to laugh.

"Well, I'm going to wash my hands." She said as she got up. Lorelei grinned maniacally.

"You are horrible!" Rory said with a laugh. "You know Grandma would hate this place, she can barely stand Luke's!"

"I know, but you have to admit that the meanness is totally covered up by the fact that you get to witness it. We're going to have to add this to the list of awesome road trip memories!" Rory just laughed and rolled her eyes. "So, tell me about this whole Logan thing."

"What's there to say? He refused to listen, even though I had a valid point about his father being right and so I left him. I'm really just tired of dealing with it, you know? No more Logan Huntzberger for me." She proclaimed loudly. The man behind Rory suddenly took notice. He hadn't heard that name in years. He turned around in his chair and saw a girl his age, long light brown curly hair. He couldn't resist the temptation to ask.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overhear, but did you say Logan Huntzberger?" Rory turned around to face the man behind her.

"Yes I…" She stopped mid-sentence. She couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her sat Tristan DuGray, a much older, much hotter, manlier version of Tristan DuGray. She noticed his classic hair was cut much shorter now. She had forgotten that he went to North Carolina for military school. That must explain the hair, she thought. Tristan recognized her.

"Mary?" He said, unable to control his tongue or believe his eyes. He was in a state of shock. She had grown up, it seemed. She was still as strikingly beautiful as when he left her, but she looked like a woman instead of a girl.

"It's Rory. Although I'll give you that one, it's been awhile." She said with a smile on her lips. "Oh my God. I can't believe it. How are you?" She seemed interested in hearing his story. He forgot how genuinely kind she was.

"I'm good. And what about you? What are you doing down here?"

"I'm fine, I'm down here for my surrogate grandmother's wedding. Are you still living down here?" She remembered that? He was impressed.

"Yeah, for now. I just got back from Iraq so I'm afraid I'm kind of in limbo." He noticed the shock on her face, and he couldn't say he blamed her.

"Really?" She said, completely dumbfounded. She found her composure quickly again. "Well, that explains the loss of hair." She heard her mother cough behind her. She was choking back a laugh. Tristan noticed and smiled.

"Hi," he stood up. "Tristan DuGray." He extended his hand. She shook it.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't introduce you."

"Lorelei Gilmore. I remember him." She said to Rory. Just then Emily came back from the bathroom. She noticed the tall man who was now standing at their table.

"Oh, Grandma, this is Tristan DuGray. We went to Chilton together." Emily remembered how much trouble he had caused as a boy. "He was sitting at the table behind us. Isn't that ironic?"

"Nice to see you again." He extended his hand. She took it and put on her society face.

"Yes, what a small world."

"Would you like to join us?" Lorelei asked. "We can pull up a chair." She motioned to the empty one next to Rory.

"I can't. I was just on my way out I'm afraid. Thank you though."

"Oh that's too bad." Emily said, not really meaning it. Rory was disappointed; she didn't want him to leave.

"Are you sure?" Rory asked, clearly wanting him to stay.

"Yeah, I've got to check in before they think I've gone AWOL." He joked. "It was nice seeing you again _Rory_." He said.

"Yeah, you too." She watched him walk away. Lorelei wrote down Rory's cell phone number and email address on a napkin.

"Oh Shoot! Rory, I forgot my purse in the car, will you go get it?" She asked, slipping her the napkin under the table. Rory felt it and looked down.

"I thought you left it at the hotel?" She felt the napkin.

"No, _I left it in the car_."

"Oh, sure." She said, walking slowly out the door. It wasn't until she got outside that she actually read the napkin. rolled her eyes.

"Tristan!" She called out to him. He turned around as she caught up to him.

"Hey," He was completely taken aback.

"I just thought it would be a shame if we met again like this, and we left without getting to actually talk." She handed him the napkin. "Just in case." She said with a grin. He took it from her and read it.

"You're going to Yale?" He looked up.

"See, this is why I gave you the info." He smiled at her audacity. She had changed, and he liked it.

"Bye Tristan." She started walking away. Once he recovered from the shock, he spoke up.

"Hey! Rory!" This time it was her turn to be surprised. She slowly turned around. "How do you know Logan Huntzberger?" She grinned and started walking backwards.

"I can't give all my secrets away, then you won't call." She turned around and didn't look back. Tristan laughed out loud and shook his head.

"You're right." He muttered to himself. He got in his car and sat there for a second. He could not believe her. He smiled as he started the ignition and drove away.

OOOOO

Rory was lying on the hotel bed watching a movie when she felt her cell phone vibrate. She looked at the Caller-ID but it didn't have a name. She grabbed it and went outside onto the balcony.

"Hello?" She said, wanting it to be Tristan.

"Hey, it's Tristan." She grinned.

"Hi,"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine and you?"

"I'm good." It was quiet for a second. "So what are you doing right now?"

"Not much actually."

"Hm. Well, how do you feel about ice cream?"

"I love ice cream,"

"Good, I was hoping you would say that. I haven't had worthwhile ice cream in quite some time and I needed an expert's opinion. You know, in case things have changed since I've been gone."

"What! They don't have good ice cream in the middle of the desert while there's a war going on? Where are the nation's priorities?" She mocked him. He laughed.

"Care to tell me where you are so I can pick you up?" She gave him the information. "Awesome, I'll pick you up in ten minutes?"

"Sounds good. Bye." She hung up her phone and went back inside. Lorelei and Emily were both engrossed in the movie.

"Who was that hon?" Lorelei asked.

"Tristan, he's taking me out for ice cream." She started flipping through the phone book.

"What? Already? Man, you weren't kidding. That kid moves fast." Rory rolled her eyes.

"Aha!" She said as she tore out an ad. "Mom, nothing is going to happen. We live a thousand miles apart, remember?" She sat down on the bed. "Besides, I haven't seen him in five years, I just broke up with someone and he just got back from Iraq. We are just getting together to catch up."

"Sounds like the perfect one night stand to me." Lorelei whispered to her daughter, who looked horrified and hit her mother with her purse. "God I feel like I've been sucked into a time warp. A young war veteran is taking you out for ice cream. Don't forget your poodle skirt." Emily finally spoke up.

"For goodness sake's Lorelei, you're ruining the movie." Lorelei looked over shocked.

"Rory's talking too!" She said, but it went unnoticed. Rory laughed and waved goodbye to her mother.

"I'll be back later."

"Have fun!" Rory shut the door and walked down the stairs to the parking lot. She saw Tristan, leaning against the trunk of his car. She grinned and walked over to him.

"Hi." He said, moving around the car to open the door for her.

"Hi. Thanks." She said as she sat down. Tristan walked around and got in. "So, you want some good ice cream." She stated.

"That's the mission."

"Well I did a little reconnaissance. You know where the Promenade is?" He looked at her.

"That I can find, yes."

"Super. That's where we want to go."

OOOOO

"So you really have never had Coldstone before?" Rory asked. He shook his head.

"But I'm now a firm believer."

"Good." She smiled at him. They had gotten ice cream to go and were now wandering through the Promenade. He sat down on a bench and she joined him.

"So tell me, how do you know Logan Huntzberger?" He asked, curious.

"It's a really long story." She said.

"I've got time." He smiled at her.

"Well, it all started when I committed adultery." Tristan choked on his ice cream.

"I'm sorry, did you just say…"

"Yep, and that's only the beginning." She said as she regaled him with her adventurous tale of the past few years, including the tryst with Dean. It was safe to say that Tristan couldn't believe his ears.

"And that brings us to this very moment." She said, watching his reaction. "Go ahead, you can say it. You're completely horrified." He smiled.

"Well," He joked. She hit him in the arm playfully. "You certainly have changed since Chilton. But that's okay. You're allowed to change."

"I'll say. It's your turn. Tell me how you got to this point in time." He smiled and looked down.

"Well, I came here for military school, and I actually really liked it so I enlisted in the National Guard when I turned eighteen. By the time we graduated, we were invading Iraq. I spent that summer training, turned nineteen in September and was deployed in November."

"Wait, I thought you said you just got back?" Rory interrupted.

"I wasn't done yet." He said with a smile. "But I'm glad you're paying attention."

"Oops, sorry." She pretended to zip her lips.

"Anyway, that was my first trip over. I was there for a year. I got back safely and everything was fine. I came home and started college but I was only home for a year before I got re-deployed. This time, it was for eighteen months. So while you are graduating in a few months, I'm going to be a sophomore in the fall."

"Wow." She said. "What was that like?"

"It was…life-changing." He said. "There's no explaining it, unless you've been through it." She grabbed his hand. He was surprised by the action and stared at her small hands covering his. He didn't know why but he was suddenly finding it very hard to breathe. He met her eyes and she smiled.

"Well," She said, breaking the moment. "I for one, am very impressed with the way you turned out. And I'm very happy that you are home safe."

"Yeah?" He sat up a little straighter. She laughed.

"Yeah. I always knew that you could be something great. I think that's why I was so frustrated with you in high school." He groaned.

"Oh, please don't bring up high school. I was an immature jackass."

"Well, sometimes. Sometimes you were sweet."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'll be the first to admit that we had a rocky start, but by the time you left we were friends, weren't we?" He thought about it.

"Didn't you say you hated me?" He said.

"Ok, so we had a rocky start and a rocky end," she admitted, "but there was some good in the middle. I seem to remember a very specific Casablanca reference that flew right over your head."

"I remember a kiss on a piano bench." He said, mischief in his eyes. Rory remembered that too.

"Even that had a rocky start and a rocky end." She said.

"By rocky you mean our significant others dumping us and then you running away crying?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean." She said with a laugh. 

"Ok, just making sure." He said. She shivered as a breeze past by. "Here, you're cold." He handed her his jacket.

"No, aren't you going to get cold?"

"I'm fine, really." He put it on her shoulders. She noticed that he had long sleeves on, even under the jacket. They sat there for a minute or two. "Come on, I should get you home. Your grandmother would not approve of you being out so late."

"Probably not." She said as she got up. "Drive me home?" He smiled. They drove the rest of the way in silence. He pulled up to her hotel and parked the car. She didn't get out.

"We're leaving in the morning." Tristan nodded.

"I figured as much." She sat there some more.

"I'm really glad we found each other again." She said. "It's nice to be reminded of simpler days." You have no idea, he thought.

"Yes, yes it is." He smiled sadly. "But I have your email address, and your number. We can keep in touch." He said, trying to reassure himself more than her.

"I'd like that."

"Come on, I'll walk you to your room."

"Ok." She got out of the car and started climbing the steps to the room. They stood awkwardly in front of the door. "Thanks." She said. He noticed the way the moon was reflecting off her already milky skin. No, Tristan. His head yelled at him. You are not doing this. Just let her go, it's easier. She has no idea what she's getting into. Walk away.

"Well, here's looking at you kid." She said, her hand on the door. And at that simple phrase, his head shut up. He reached out and grabbed her hand from the door. Rory looked at him and before she had time to think, his lips were on hers. It was a light, simple kiss but it did more damage than any other kiss ever had. When he pulled away, her eyes were still closed. She opened them hazily and smiled. "See. No tears."

"Goodnight." He smiled and walked away.

"Goodnight." She whispered into the soft moonlight.


	2. Getting to know you

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: OMG you guys! I'm completely flabbergasted and I want to thank you so much for the reviews! If you couldn't tell, I'm updating as much as I can because I don't know when I'll be able to do it again with finals in a month. So I hope to get this chapter up and another one for Changes, but we'll have to see what happens. Thanks again and please enjoy!

Rory and Lorelei threw their stuff onto the couch and collapsed.

"We are never going anywhere with my mother ever again." Lorelei said. Rory just groaned and fell asleep.

OOOOO

The next morning, Rory was checking her email when she came across a note from Tristan. She smiled as she opened it up.

To: Mary Tristan DuGray tristan.dugrayus.army.mil

Sub: Vacation

Hi,

Not 24 hours after you left, I got an invitation to come up to Hartford to see my parents. They figured out I was back by now and they want to act like good parents. And since they (the government) are _finally_ done with me, I figured a vacation was just what I needed. So, what are you doing a week from now? I know that the answer is probably studying for finals, but you might need a coffee break. Let me know.

Tristan

Rory smiled. This was turning out to be quite the coincidence. She sent him a reply. She shut down her computer and wondered how long it would be before he replied. What difference does it make, she thought. She had been thinking about their kiss the entire ride home. It was nice, almost polite. Was he even interested, or did it just seem like the thing to do? He obviously didn't have a girlfriend. These thoughts were plaguing her and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't think of anything else.

OOOOO

Tristan was sitting at his desk staring at his computer screen. He saw that he had a message from Rory, but he couldn't bring himself to open it. To him, it was Pandora's box. If she said no, he would understand, but he would be disappointed. If she said yes, he would be opening himself up to a very complicated relationship. They were in two very different places in their lives. She was ready to go out into the world. He was returning, trying to forget what he had seen. He didn't even know if she liked him. Maybe she was just being friendly. Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore, he opened the email.

To: Tristan DuGray tristan.dugrayus.army.mil

From: Rory Gilmore Sub: Vacation

Hello,

I can't turn down a coffee break! You have my cell number, just let me know when you are going to be in town. Speaking of finals, you never told me what you went to college for. I've been setting up interviews all day with papers and frankly, I'm wondering how I'm going to make it through the next couple months. I would love to see you again.

Rory

After sending back his reply, Tristan read and reread her email, looking for any signs that could help him. One sentence stuck out 'I would love to see you again.' That was what he had been secretly hoping for. He knew he had to be honest with her. She needed to know what she was getting into. He would tell her in person, that was the only way to do it. If she wanted a relationship, she would have to be in all the way.

OOOOO

Rory was in the living room when she heard her computer beep. She had gotten another email. She jumped off the couch and flew to her computer. It was from Tristan.

To: Mary Tristan DuGray tristan.dugrayus.army.mil

RE: RE: Sub: Vacation

Great, I'm flying in on Friday. Oh and I'm going to be an architect.

Tristan

Rory was amazed. She had thought maybe business, or law, but never architecture. You learn something new every day, she thought.

OOOOO

Tristan called Rory a week later as he got off the plane. Her cell phone was off, so he left a message.

"Hey, it's me. I'm in Hartford. Call me back." He hung up the phone and started walking towards the luggage claim. Standing there holding his duffel was his old butler, Daniel.

"Daniel?" He asked, completely shocked to see him.

"Hello, Sir, good to see you again."

"What are you doing here?"

"Your parents sent me Sir, they said you would need a ride home." Tristan smiled. He had forgotten what it was like to be dependent on other people.

"Well, I would love a ride home. But I'm carrying my own luggage." He said, taking the duffel from him.

"Very well Sir, the car is outside." He said, just as serious as Tristan remembered him.

"I missed you Daniel. It's good to see you." Tristan said with a smile. What else had he forgotten about Hartford? As he got into the car, his phone rang. It was Rory.

"Hi." He said, sounding truly happy.

"Hi! So you made it ok?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way to my house as we speak."

"Ok, well I'm sure you want to go home and shower and rest and what not after your flight. I have Friday night dinner with my grandparents tonight, but how about if we meet tomorrow for lunch?" She sounded really excited to see him.

"Ok, that sounds good."

"Oh Good, I'm so happy that you are here." She said. "I can't wait to see you." His heart flipped in his chest.

"Me too. I'll see you soon." He said.

"Bye." Tristan couldn't contain the grin that was sweeping across his face. Just talking to her made him smile. They pulled up in front of his house and he couldn't believe that nothing had changed. He hadn't been here in three years. He had come up for Christmas after he had gotten stateside, but it had only been for a couple days. He got out of the car and grabbed his duffel. He walked into the house, and took a tour, looking for someone he knew. He ended up in the kitchen.

"Greta?" He asked as she turned around.

"Tristan!" She gave him a hug. "Oh, it's so good to have you home. How was your flight? Can I get you something to eat?" He laughed; she hadn't changed a bit. Greta had been his cook for as long as he could remember.

"I'm fine, it's good to see you again. How's the home life?" He asked her, knowing she would tell him honestly.

"Oh, the same as always. We did get a new gardener, his name is Marco, does a wonder with floral arrangements."

"Well that's good to know. I'm going to go unpack, I'll be back down in awhile." He said, picking his duffel back up off the floor.

"I'm making a very special dinner tonight, just for you, your parents won't be in until tomorrow." She said. He nodded.

"Thanks Greta." He figured that his parents wouldn't be around. His father was probably at some meeting, his mother at a spa. He didn't mind not having to deal with them quite yet. He liked some time to get acclimated. He walked the stairs to his bedroom. As he opened the door, he looked around. It seemed like another lifetime. Posters on the walls, music lined the shelf. He finally crossed the threshold and entered the room. This room brought back so many memories. He dropped his duffel on the floor and lay down on the bed. Slowly, sleep overtook him.

OOOOO

Tristan jolted awake half an hour later in a cold sweat. He reached down and touched the left side of his abs, expecting to see blood seeping through his shirt. It was only a dream. It had been weeks since he had had one that was so vivid. He laid back down and closed his eyes, trying to get his heartbeat to return to normal. Once he calmed down, he got out of bed and took a shower, trying to wash the memories away.

OOOOO

Rory woke up Saturday morning with a smile on her face.

"Why are you so happy?" Paris asked.

"I'm not any more happy then usual." She said, unconvincingly. Paris gave her a look.

"So the fact that you've had on three outfits today has nothing to do with a certain blonde being back in town?" She asked. Rory had told Paris all about North Carolina, and she knew that Tristan was probably still in love with Rory. "You must like him."

"Maybe. I don't know. I hardly know him." She grabbed her purse. "Bye Paris."

"Well, you might want to figure it out before he leaves again." Paris said as Rory left the room. Tristan was going to meet her at one of her favorite cafes in Hartford. She glanced at her watch; she was running a little behind.

OOOOO

Tristan sat down at a table and waited for Rory. He was early, as usual. Five minutes later, she came rushing through the door. She spotted him and waved. He was wearing a blue button down shirt with his sleeves rolled up half way to his elbows and khaki shorts. He looked amazing.

"Hi!" She said as he stood up to greet her. She gave him a hug. It was supposed to be a friendly hug, but she found herself wanting it to last a little longer. He smelled wonderful.

"Hi." He said, taking in her scent. They separated. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, a little stressed, but I'm getting through it. How are you?"

"I'm doing good. I'm on vacation so I have no stress at all." He said, completely kidding.

"Yeah, how are your parents?" She asked, expecting to hear the worst. He loved that she knew what to expect with his family. It made it easier to let her in.

"I haven't seen them yet. They are flying in today." She nodded. They ordered their food and talked some more. Both Rory and Tristan were completely at ease and loving each other's company. When the meal was over, they didn't want it to end. He invited her back to his place for desert. They were sitting out on the patio on a porch swing, enjoying the warm weather.

"I'm having so much fun." Rory said. "I'm glad that you were able to come up here."

"Me too." He looked at her. "Who would have ever thought that we would be sitting here, in Hartford, together?" She laughed.

"I'm really glad that we are." She paused. "I'm going to be honest," She said, moving closer. "I really like you Tristan." He smiled.

"I like you too." She blushed and bit her lip. He reached out for her hand and she put her fingers on his palm. His sleeve had pulled up a little. It was then that she noticed a small scar on the inside of his arm. It looked about the size of a fingernail clipping. She ran her fingertips over it. Tristan closed his eyes.

"What's that from?" She asked, curious. Tristan glanced at her, knowing that he couldn't pretend anymore. He took a deep breath.

"I was hoping we wouldn't have to do this yet." He paused. "Rory, there's something I haven't told you." She noted the change in his voice and watched him concerned. "I was injured in Iraq. I was patrolling one day in Baghdad when a bomb in the building next to me went off. The last thing I remember is looking down at my side and seeing a piece of metal coming out of me. I woke up four days later in the hospital." She was squeezing his hand now. She sat there, trying to comprehend all of this.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked.

"Because I didn't think I would see you again, and if I did, I didn't want you to see the screwed up person I really am. Plus, I really like pretending it doesn't exist." He said with a chuckle to ease the tension. "This scar," he said, pointing to his arm, "is just the beginning." She glanced at him.

"Is that why you have been wearing long sleeves?" She asked, finally understanding. He nodded.

"Can I see?" She was treading lightly, not wanting to scare him away. He looked at her, surprised. She wasn't doing it for a morbid curiosity. She really wanted to see. He took a deep breath.

"Come on, let's go inside." She followed him up to his bedroom and he shut the door. "No one else here knows about this." He explained. "I'd kind of like to keep it that way." She nodded. He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, revealing a spattering of similar small scars on his arm. He was still in a white beater. Rory analyzed each one and watched as he took off the other shirt. There was one large scar on the left side of his torso, surrounded by varying sized scars that stretched from his navel to underneath his shoulder. She glanced up at him; he was waiting for her to say something. She walked slowly up to him and ran her middle finger across the scars. Her heart broke for him. Tristan closed his eyes again, expecting her to be disgusted. She hadn't said anything. He felt like she was taking an eternity, tracing each line so carefully.

"Oh Tristan." She said softly. He opened his eyes. She kissed him, in a slow, comforting way that he had never experienced. Her small hands traveled slowly around his body, moving from his sides to his lower back, pulling him closer. She broke the kiss first and looked up at him. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked confused.

"For trusting me, enough to show me anyway."

"That wasn't the reaction I was expecting." He said honestly, still finding it hard to breathe. He was painfully aware of how close they were, of how intimate this moment was. He swallowed nervously.

"Did you go through this all alone?" She asked, recalling his earlier words. He shook his head.

"I had the guys in my unit. In fact, they're probably the reason I'm still alive." That eased her mind a little.

"I can't imagine what you've been through." She paused. "Not just physically, but mentally."

"There are times when I get mad, frustrated. And then there are times when I think how lucky I am. It could have been much worse." He said. "There are guys in my unit who never came home, some did, but without limbs. I really am lucky."

"Did this happen the first time you went over?" He nodded. "And you still had to go back?!"

"My Sergeant said that he could get me out of it, but I didn't want that. I needed closure. Besides, I had nothing to lose. I was already affected. If I didn't go, they would have sent someone with a family, a wife and kids, and I couldn't sleep at night knowing that." Rory looked at him.

"Affected?" He shrugged.

"Sometimes, I have these dreams." He stopped, not wanting to talk about it.

"You don't have to tell me. I understand. Forget I asked." She thought about what she wanted to say. "It's just, you seem…like you've really accepted this. It's amazing. You. You are amazing."

"No, I'm not. I'm just an average guy who got some bad luck mixed with his good luck."

"Is that how you look at it?" She said in disbelief.

"Well don't you have to take the good with the bad? You don't appreciate walking down the street until you don't have your legs. You couldn't fully appreciate your mom until you got into your fight. I couldn't appreciate all this until it was almost taken away. So I have a shitty family, I've been given a lot more than most people will ever see. That's what you have to focus on."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She said. "Still, it seems unfair to ask anyone for that much."

"Whoever said that life was fair?" She laughed and threw her hands in the air.

"I don't know. I give up. You win."

"I win huh?" He said as he pulled her close again. "What's my prize?"

"I think we can work something out." She whispered as he leaned into kiss her.


	3. When I think about you I

Disclaimer: This is trying to follow the last episode (minus Logan obviously) so there are some spoilers if you haven't seen it yet. Nothing too dramatic that will ruin it, but I figure you must be warned. If you haven't seen it, it's almost always posted on I had this written awhile ago, but I kept it so I could measure it against last night's episode. I wanted to find out what was happening to Paris for the summer and stuff like that. Only one more episode left. Enjoy!

Tristan pulled away first, letting the taste of her lips linger on his.

"Rory, there's more." He said hesitantly. She looked up at him.

"Tristan, it's ok. You don't have to tell me if you don't want, but you can tell me anything. I promise." She squeezed his hand supportively.

"Well, I have some hearing problems in my left ear from the blast. Occasionally, I lose hearing in it. So if you are whispering something in my left ear, I probably won't hear it." She nodded, understanding. "And because I don't hear things so well on my left side, I get jumpy."

"Jumpy?" Rory asked, looking for more clarification.

"For example, say I am sitting in my living room and someone came in from the kitchen and I didn't hear them and all of a sudden they are standing there, I freak out. Anxiety attack, panic attack, whatever you want to call it. I can't breathe and really I'm fine, it just takes a minute for my heart to stop racing."

"Ok." She said.

"Ok?" Tristan wanted to be sure he heard her correctly.

"Yeah, Tristan, you have some stuff going on. It's understandable. I'm glad you told me so I don't worry about it when it happens." Tristan knew that Rory had no idea what she was talking about. Once she saw it, experienced it, she would fully understand. She was just playing nonchalant to make him feel comfortable. Rory wrapped her arms around his still bare back, running her hands up the smooth skin to his shoulders and pulling him closer. He didn't mean to, but Tristan got lost in her eyes. Rory smiled.

"When was the last time you were thoroughly kissed?" She asked him.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean, thirsting for more, backseat of a car, make-out session, kind of thoroughly kissed."

"It's been a long time." He said.

"How long?" She asked him. He pondered for a minute.

"Samantha Genereux, right before I left for my second tour of duty. Why?"

"I was just curious." She said with a glint in her eye and a grin on her face. She bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"I know. You can say it." She just looked at him as if he was crazy. "I haven't done this in awhile." He said, actually embarrassed a little.

"Actually, I was thinking that while we should be taking things slow because you obviously haven't done this in some time," she paused "you are making that very hard to do standing there with your shirt off. I never got the whole Mary conquest thing until this very moment but I am beginning to see the appeal." Tristan raised his eyebrows in disbelief. His little Mary was not only checking him out, but she was actually trying to switch roles with him. While he was, admittedly, out of practice, there were some things you can't forget how to do.

"Oh really. You think that I am that out of practice?" She nodded.

"I mean, it's not your fault. You've been a little busy." She said, motioning to his scars to prove her point. He grabbed her hand.

"Rory?" He said seriously.

"Hmm?" She unconsciously bit her lip, thinking she had made a wrong move.

"Shut up." He kissed her with a savage quality he didn't know he possessed. As soon as the shock wore off, Rory kissed back, their dueling tongues fighting for control. A moan escaped from the back of her throat, only sending Tristan further over the edge. He pushed her onto the bed, never ending the kiss. He wanted her to know that he hadn't changed. He wanted to prove it to himself.

She let her body take over and instinctively arched into him. Tristan kissed her neck, wanting to leave his mark on her. Rory moaned again, the familiar feeling of need growing in her abdomen. Tristan removed her tank top and threw it on the floor. He pressed his erection into her, wanting her to understand what she was doing to him. They continued on like that for another couple of minutes when Rory stopped.

"Wait." She said, out of breath. "What time is it?"

"What?" He was thrown off guard by her question. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table and groaned.

"I'm late!" She said, pushing Tristan off of her.

"Late?"

"I'm so sorry." She apologized. "I have an interview in an hour!" She found her shirt and fixed her hair quickly. "I hate to kiss and run, but I promise, this will continue later!"

"It's ok, it's what you do. I'm actually starting to get used to it." Tristan grinned. She gave him a quick peck on the lips and ran out the door. "Good luck!" He yelled after her. He shook his head, which was still spinning from their earlier make-out session. He needed a shower. He walked into his bathroom and started the hot water. As he got undressed he thought about what had happened earlier. Rory hadn't seen his injury as a problem. That was comforting, but he knew that it wasn't just the physical injury that would cause trouble. He stepped into the shower and let the water cascade over his body. The only thing he could think of was Rory. He hadn't felt this way about anyone in a long time. Kissing her was the most intensely necessary thing he had ever felt. She was addictive, and he wanted more. The way her eyes reflected the dirty thoughts that were racing through his mind. The way her hot flesh rubbed against his own. He placed his left hand on the shower wall and fisted his erection with his right. He could still hear her eager moaning in his ear, feel her hips grinding into his. As he came, only one word escaped his lips in a whisper. "Rory."

OOOOO

Rory unlocked the door to her apartment and threw her purse on the chair. Paris was spending the night at Doyle's and she had the whole place to herself. She grabbed some Chinese food from the fridge and settled in on the couch. The scenes from this afternoon were flashing through her mind all day and she couldn't have concentrated if she tried. She turned on the TV, trying to think of something else. As she flipped through the channels, it seemed that every thing she saw made her think of Tristan, from Ice Cream ads to Neosporin on scars. She stopped on Lifetime and prepared to seriously mock the movie that was on, but it was a sex scene. A hot, steamy sex scene that actually made Rory close her eyes and think of Tristan. The girl on TV was laid out on a bed, begging for more as the man hovered over her body. Rory felt herself getting wet. She turned off the TV in frustration. She hadn't had sex in awhile, but it hadn't been that long. Logan and her had been having problems for some time, but that was never an issue. She sat there thinking on the couch. She recalled Paris' plan to spend the night at Doyle's. She thought about calling Tristan, but he was spending the night with his parents. Rory had to admit it; she was all alone and horny as Hell.

She picked up a magazine from the coffee table and tried to read, but the article she turned to was "10 ways to please your man." She glanced down and saw that number three was pleasing yourself. Rory had never done that for herself before, let alone for a man. Sure, boys had, but she had never done it to herself. She threw the magazine down on the table and tried to think of something else. Pushing the thoughts out of her mind, she grabbed one of her textbooks and tried to study. Finals were quickly approaching and she had to get a lot more work in before graduation. Tristan had surprised her earlier. The intensity of his kiss was mind-blowing. Her mind drifted back to the way he licked his lips in anticipation of her.

'Not helping!' She brushed her hair behind her ear and tried to concentrate again. She needed something to break the Tristan track her brain was on. Her eyes traveled back to the magazine cover. She wasn't that desperate, was she? She glanced back at the textbook. Soon she was gravitating back to the way his hips bucked against her own and how his rough fingers sent electricity through... 'Oh who am I kidding?' she thought. She got up and locked the door to the apartment. She walked into her bedroom and closed all the curtains and locked her bedroom door. She turned off the lights and got undressed.

As she slipped under her covers, she laid there for a minute. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and slowly moved her hand down her stomach. She thought of Tristan earlier with the sweat beading off his taut muscles, hovering over her. She let her mind drift off into fantasyland, imagining what he would do to her if they had progressed further. She rubbed her clit, enjoying the new feeling of liberation. There was something incredibly erotic about knowing that she had complete control over what happened. Her nipples hardened as she began to feel the heat between her legs intensify. She reached down and felt her wet center, using the lubrication to increase the friction on her clit. She bent her knees and began to moan as she arched into the air. The images of Tristan in her brain were starting to do the trick.

"Oh, God!" She said out loud to no one, realizing she could be as loud as she wanted with no fear. "Yes, Ohhhh." She moaned, losing the ability to work her tongue. Faster and faster she rubbed, thrusting into the sheets. She came with a sigh, relaxing as the waves finished off. She laid in bed, her entire body satisfied and quiet. Why hadn't she ever done this before?

OOOOO

That night Tristan told his parents over dinner about his injury. He didn't know why, but he felt the need to explain himself. His mother was shocked. His father remained motionless as always. He often wondered why his father only showed two emotions, disappointment and anger. If it seemed like neither one of these emotions could be applied, he just stared at you. Tristan was currently lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. He was thinking about Rory, as usual. She seemed like she was completely ok with all that was going on in his life, but they all seemed ok at first. What would she do when she actually experienced an episode? She would pity him, they always pitied him. His mother had given him the look tonight. Well he didn't want their pity. He didn't want to see that look on Rory's face too.

OOOOO

The next day Rory had finished her final and was preparing for the next when she got a phone call from Tristan. As soon as she read the caller ID she blushed, thinking of the night before.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hi." He said, sounding happy.

"How did dinner with your parents go last night?" This girl doesn't beat around the bush, Tristan thought, so neither will I.

"I told them."

"You told them what?" She asked, confused.

"About my injury, I told them." Silence. "Rory?"

"I'm sorry, and how did they take the news?"

"They were slightly mortified. I don't think that was the kind of polite banter they were expecting."

"I guess not. And how are you feeling about all this?" He sighed. How did he feel about all of this?

"I'm not sure. I mean, I'm glad they know, after all, they are still my parents. I had to tell them."

"Right."

"It's going to be a waiting game, see how it plans out." She had no idea how to play this one. She needed clarification.

"So you're ok?" She wondered.

"Well, I miss you." He said honestly. She held the phone away from her ear to silently squeal. "What are you doing tonight? More studying?"

"Yep, but tomorrow's my last day of finals."

"Then you are graduating, what's that feel like?"

"Completely horrifying, actually. I'm hoping that my interviews start turning up some jobs because I don't know what I'll do if they don't."

"You're going to get a job, you are the editor for the Yale Daily News. That means something."

"Yeah, but it doesn't make the waiting any easier." He laughed.

"No, I don't suppose it does. Well I'm going to let you get back to your studies. Tomorrow night we should go out and celebrate if you don't have any plans."

"That would be awesome. I'm done at four."

"Ok, I'll see you then." Rory caught the happiness in his voice.

"Ok, bye." She hung up her phone and looked down at her textbook in front of her. "You will not defeat me!"

OOOOO

As soon as the clock struck four, Tristan was in his car and on the way to Rory's apartment. He hadn't seen her in a day and a half and he was already giddy at the thought of seeing her. What did this girl have that held his interest so much? That's a stupid question, he thought. She's Rory Gilmore. What doesn't she have? She's perfect. Tristan suddenly became nervous. He knew that if anything went wrong, it was going to be his fault. I cannot screw this up, he told himself. He pulled up to the building and cringed. This did not look like the right place, there were a gang of guys in front sitting on the stoop. He walked up and they let him pass

"Must be looking for Gilmore." He heard one of them mutter.

"Yeah, she loves the rich blonde ones." Replied another. Tristan didn't like this place at all. He walked up the steps and found her door. He was just about to knock when Paris opened it.

"Paris. Hi." He said, surprised.

"Tristan."

"I didn't think I had the right place, do you guys seriously live here? And what's with the men out front?" He motioned down the stairs.

"Yes DuGray, we seriously live here. Those guys are a doo-wop group; they are relatively harmless so long as you stay out of their way. Rory's not back yet but you can sit and wait for her. She should be back any minute."

"A Doo-wop group?" She gave him a pointed look. He moved on. "Thanks Paris. How are you?" He said with a grin.

"I'm fine, look I don't have time to chat. Are you coming to graduation?"

"Maybe."

"Ok well, we can say our goodbyes then."

"Goodbyes? We just met."

"I'm going to India for the summer, and then Harvard Med school, you're going back to North Carolina, we probably won't see each other ever again. Look, I've got to go. Don't mind the boxes." She let him in the apartment. "It was nice seeing you." She said as she left.

"Bye." He said to himself. He wandered around the apartment, giving everything a once-over. He thought about what Paris said. Rory was getting a job, probably somewhere far from North Carolina. Where did that leave them? Just then the door opened.

"Hey! What are you doing here already?" Rory said as she set down her keys.

"Paris let me in." She gave him a kiss. "I've only been here a minute."

"Well then, we have good timing. I'm going to change and then we can go."

"Ok." She gave him another kiss. "So what do you think of the place? I know it's a little rough, but it's the best we could do." She walked into her bedroom.

"A little rough? Rory, there are guys sitting on your stoop that I am afraid of and I've been to war…twice."

"The Doo-wop group?" She poked her head around the door. "Oh those guys are harmless."

"So I've heard."

"Besides, we're only going to be here for another day or so." He paused.

"So Paris hasn't changed at all." Changing the subject was one of his greatest talents. Rory smiled.

"You think? Hmm, maybe I've just gotten used to her." She reappeared, make-up fixed and clothes changed.

"You look beautiful." Tristan said, as she twirled around in a circle.

"Thank you. Where do you want to go?"

"It's your celebration, you get to pick."

"Anywhere?" He nodded. "Even Stars Hollow?"

"Sure. What's in Stars Hollow?"

"Only the best food and coffee this side of anywhere."

"Well then, we better get going." He said, opening the door for her.

"So you really don't like the Doo-wop group?" She asked as she walked out the door.


	4. School's out forever

A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews and such! I know this took a bit longer than anticipated but I have the next chapter written so I will upload it as soon as I get a chance!

Disclaimer: The usual

Tristan and Rory pulled into the driveway as Lorelei was walking out onto the front porch.

"Hey kid! What are you doing here?" Rory and Tristan walked up the steps.

"We were going to go to Luke's for food. Do you want to join us?"

"Oh, I can't. There was an emergency at the Inn. Something involving Michele and Sookie and cake batter…I don't know. I was just leaving to get more details." She laughed nervously. Rory glanced at her, knowing something was up.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I have to get going though. It was nice seeing you again Tristan." She smiled and hurried off to the jeep.

"I'm sorry, I have no idea what that was all about." Rory turned to Tristan as she opened the door. He laughed.

"It's ok. I'm sure that the cake batter emergency needs her attention." Tristan took a look around. "So this is your house huh?"

"Yeah, this is where I grew up."

"I like it. It's very…you." Rory laughed. He analyzed all the pictures on the fireplace. "Ahh, look at you!" Rory moved around to see the picture he was holding.

"Oh gosh, that's from my fourth birthday. Mom took me to the circus and insisted that we wear pink boas and crowns."

"Your mom looks so young."

"That's because she was…twenty in that picture."

"Twenty?" Rory nodded.

"She had me when she was sixteen. Of course, this was not what my grandparents had in mind. She ran away from Hartford and never looked back."

"But I thought you and your grandparents were pretty close."

"Yeah, but it wasn't always that way. I didn't even know them until I was sixteen. I needed money for Chilton and my mom had nowhere else to go. We had been planning my whole life for Harvard and Chilton was a chance to get there. She had to ask my grandparents, which killed her. That's why we have Friday night dinners, as a way to pay for my education. But slowly, things got better. They still have their disappointments, and Mom still has her reasons for leaving but it's getting better."

"Wow, and your dad?" Rory thought a bit. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want."

"No, it's fine. Dad was someone who tried, but always seemed to let us down. He was never around when I was growing up. He'd call sometimes. He and my mom actually got married in Paris a couple months ago, but it was a mistake and ended shortly afterwards."

"Really?" Rory nodded. "What makes you say that?"

"Luke and my mom were engaged, but Luke found out he had a twelve year old daughter and he freaked out. Mom, after waiting for so long, didn't want to wait anymore. She knew that Dad had always wanted to marry her and she just jumped. But it wasn't Luke. I'm pretty sure they still love each other but both mom and Luke fervently deny it." Tristan just stared at her. "Wow, I'm sorry, that was way too much information."

"No, I like knowing this stuff. It's good to know it's not just my family that's got issues." He said with a laugh.

"Trust me, it's not just you." She smiled. "So, are you hungry?"

"I could eat."

"Perfect, then let's go to Luke's."

"Wait. Aren't you going to show me your room?" He asked, raising his eyebrows and licking his lips. In all reality, he was honestly curious.

"Do you want to see my room?" He nodded. She pointed the way and he followed eagerly. "Here we are." She said as she opened the door. He took a look around, gazing into her past life.

"It feels like another lifetime doesn't it?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, coming in here. It feels like a completely different world." She didn't say anything so he turned to look at her. "Ror?"

"Yeah. It does." She said, white as a sheet.

"Hey, are you ok?" He asked, grabbing her upper arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She was going catatonic.

"No you're not. Here. Sit down." He pulled her towards the foot of the bed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just…" she struggled to find the words as the realizations swept over her. "I'm done with college. I'm an adult now. I have to start a new life. I have to find a job." She was suddenly finding it very hard to breathe.

"Rory, calm down."

"I can't. I can't breathe." She was having a panic attack so Tristan did the only thing he could think of to do.

"Close your eyes." He commanded, taking control. His tone had taken her so completely off-guard that she followed orders. He began massaging her palms with his thumbs. "Relax." He whispered. Once she had started breathing normally again, he kissed her slowly. It was a comforting kiss, one that made it seem like everything was going to be ok.

"Stop thinking." He pushed her hair behind her ear and whispered. "Everything is going to be fine." She opened her eyes.

"Wow. You are really good at that."

"I've had my fair share of panic attacks." He said with his trademark smirk.

"No, I mean, you are _really_ good at that." She pulled him closer and kissed him again slowly, teasingly slow. Tristan let out a soft moan as he got more comfortable on the bed. After a few minutes, Rory's stomach growled, reminding them why they were here.

"Food." She said as she pulled away.

"How hungry are you?" He asked. Rory shot him a look. He groaned and sat up again. She locked eyes with him.

"Thank you. For earlier."

"You are very welcome." He said with a smile. "Come on, let's get you fed." She rubbed her stomach and walked out of the bedroom.

OOOOO

Tristan and Rory walked into Luke's and sat down at the counter.

"Rory?"

"Lane!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm officially done with school so Tristan and I came to celebrate. Tristan, this is my best friend Lane. Lane, this is Tristan."

"It's nice to finally meet you." Lane said as she shook his hand.

"You too." He said as Luke walked out from the kitchen.

"Lane, order up. Who are you?" He asked as he looked Tristan up and down.

"Tristan DuGray." Rory grabbed his hand.

"Be nice Luke, he's with me."

"What happened to Logan?" Tristan couldn't stifle his laugh.

"He isn't in the picture anymore." Rory moves just as fast as her mother does when moving on, Luke thought bitterly, but instantly regretted it. This wasn't her fault. "Tristan and I went to Chilton together but we met again when Mom and I went down to Mia's wedding in North Carolina."

"Mia got married?" Rory nodded.

"Didn't Mom tell you?"

"No. Your mom hasn't been in here since…well for a long time." Rory handed a menu to Tristan, but never took her eyes off Luke. What was he saying?

"Luke!" Kirk yelled, breaking the tension at the counter. He went off to see what the trouble was, thankful for the distraction.

"You had no idea your mom stopped going to Luke's, did you?" Tristan asked from behind a menu.

"No, I didn't."

"That explains the cake batter situation doesn't it?"

"I mean, how could she not tell me she stopped eating at Luke's? We've eaten here everyday since I can remember." She said, completely ignoring his previous sentence.

"How long has it been?"

"She broke things off with Luke a year ago."

"Whoa."

"Yeah."

"So, what does this mean?"

"I don't know."

OOOOO

Tristan and Rory had crashed at the apartment after eating at Luke's. He had insisted on staying, especially when he found out Paris was at Doyle's. He hadn't trusted the place enough to leave her there for the night alone. She stirred awake when she heard Tristan making a small noise. She removed her head from his chest and watched him. His face was contorting and he seemed to be writhing underneath her. Sweat was dripping from his temples and he looked like he was in pain. She jumped off him.

"No," he muttered, still asleep. "No." He shook his head.

"Tristan?" She whispered. Please wake up, she thought. Please? She didn't want to shake him, who knew what he would do, so she decided to say his name again. "Tristan!" He bolted up and looked around, realizing it was a dream. He slowly sat up and turned so his feet were on the floor and took a deep breath. With his elbows on his knees, he ran his hand through his short hair. It was then that he saw Rory standing to his left. She looked terrified.

"It's ok." He said, reaching out for her. Rory didn't move. "I'm fine," he said laughing at her, "Come here." He nodded towards the bed. She walked over and wrapped her arms around him, holding him close, although it was more to comfort herself than him. "Did I scare you?" He asked, simultaneously kissing the hair on the top of her head. She nodded.

"Your heart is racing." She noticed, pressing her ear to his chest.

"My heart always races when you're around." He said with a smirk, returning to his smooth self and acting like nothing had happened.

"Don't change the subject." She said concerned. He sighed and let her go.

"We have to talk about this don't we?" She nodded. "What do you want to know?"

"What were you dreaming about?"

"This time it was the accident. I turned around and there was an explosion and searing pain shooting through my body."

"This time?"

"It differs, you just saw the worst of it, don't worry, they aren't all that bad."

"Tristan." She said, her voice showing her pity for him. He closed his eyes; it was the look he hadn't wanted to see.

"Please, don't look at me like that. Remember when I told you I was affected?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"This is what I was referring to."

"You made it seem like it wasn't that big of deal. I never realized how…" She trailed off.

"That's because it isn't a big deal." He said. "After awhile you get used to it, well, you learn to live with it. This is what it's going to be like for the rest of my life."

"Have you tried therapy or…"

"Yes." He cut her off. "Therapy helped lessen the intensity, but I still had them every night so my psychiatrist gave me sleeping pills. They just made it impossible for me to wake up, which was almost scarier than the actual nightmares."

"I can imagine." Rory said. "So, you've had them every night since the accident? But I haven't experienced it yet and we've slept like this before."

"You've slept, I mostly just stay up and watch you." He admitted with a guilty smile. "I guess this time I actually fell asleep." He wrapped his arm around her and ran his hand over her shoulder. "I'm sorry I scared you. I should have told you before this, but I didn't want you to feel sorry for me."

"Tristan, we are in a relationship, which means you are going to have to share things like this with me. I know it's hard but I need to know this stuff." Tristan nodded, feeling like he was getting scolded.

"Yes ma'am." He raised his eyebrows and smiled a little, trying to get her to smile. She grinned and shook her head. She couldn't stay serious with him.

"So, now's your chance, what else haven't you told me." Tristan glanced at her. He pretended to ponder.

"Did I mention I'm falling in love you?" He asked. She froze. The magnitude of his words echoed in the silent room.

"Not yet. No." She said, shocked. He hadn't planned on telling her this information yet. In fact, he didn't even realize that he had said it until after it came out. Rory was still staring at him.

"You don't have to say it back." He said, surprising himself with how calm he was. "I wasn't expecting you to." She was going catatonic again. "Rory?"

"I'm falling for you too." She said quietly, Tristan almost missed what she said entirely.

"I'm sorry?" She smiled at him.

"I'm falling too." She said clearly this time.

"Well ok then." He said with a stupid grin on his face. "I guess now we've covered all our bases."

"Bases? I don't know that much about sports, but you mean like, first," She kissed him. "Second." She brushed her tongue across his bottom lip. "Third?" He groaned out a response. Rory giggled at her newfound audacity with him. There was something comforting in knowing that he felt the same about her. She wanted to tease him, which had never crossed her mind with anyone before. She straddled him and pushed him back down on the bed. "Wanna know a secret?" She asked.

"I think it's your turn, yes." He said, trying to maintain his cool. She leaned down and whispered into his good ear.

"You make me want to do very…"She shifted her weight, pressing herself into him. In return, he also got a perfect cleavage shot when she bent over to whisper in his ear. "Non-Mary things."

"Oh really?" He said, his voice never faltering, even at seeing her lust-filled eyes. "Like what?"

"Sometimes, when I'm all alone in bed and thinking of you, I get these feelings." She was playing this role to a T. Tristan couldn't believe his ears, but he was going with it. He nodded.

"Really?" She nodded. "What kind of feelings?" He said with a filthy glint in his eye.

"Dirty feelings. The kind that make it necessary for me to do," she paused as she ran a hand down her neck "certain things to myself." She whispered, watching Tristan gulp and close his eyes. They let the silence reign for a minute while Tristan processed what she was telling him.

"Will you show me?" He asked, softly. She glanced down at him. He saw the flick of uncertainty flash before her eyes but she recovered quickly. She nodded and moved off of him. She crawled under the covers, pulling them up to her chin. As she was removing her clothes, Tristan moved to the other side of the bed. Tristan had yet to see her naked, but that was fine with him. It left even more to the imagination. Once she was done, she glanced over at him.

"Kiss me?" Rory asked before she started. He smiled at how nervous she had become almost instantly. He moved over to her, nothing separating them but the comforter. She wrapped her fingers through his hair as he kissed her slowly, letting his tongue explore her mouth. He could feel the ease settle into her body as her stiff muscles relaxed. He pulled away and settled down next to her. She never opened her eyes as she went to work below the sheets. She started slowly at first, slipping into her rhythm. Her fingers rubbed over her engorged clit, dipped lower into her wet folds and back again.

Tristan watched as her face conveyed every emotion she was feeling. Never in a million years would he have thought that this was actually happening, although he had pictured himself here many times. Rory moaned, lost in her own ecstasy and Tristan, long forgotten, had to hold back from doing the same. But then came something that Tristan wasn't expecting. In the middle of her moaning came a name, his name. She was thinking about him. Tristan was so hard, it was painful. He felt slightly guilty for enjoying this as much as he did, but he couldn't pull his eyes away. Faster and faster she moved, coming closer and closer to the edge.

"Oh, Tristan, yes, ohhhhh, please, yes, yes, yes!" She came with a shout. Her body melted into the sheets. With a tired smile, she opened her eyes. Without saying a word, she moved over to him, finally letting him see all of her.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this," He said, his voice rough. "But I think that was better than sex." She put her finger on his mouth, silencing him.

"It's your turn." He grabbed her finger in his mouth, tasting the remnants of her. She laid him out on the bed. Her fingers moved to his shorts and quickly pulled them down, so that he was finally naked for her. She wrapped her small hand around his massive erection and she began to milk him. Her eyes never left his while she replaced her hand with her mouth. Instantly, Tristan's eyes closed and he began to moan her name over and over. She ran her tongue over his head, causing him to shiver.

"Mar…I'm" She nodded. That was all that he needed. He came with a hard shudder. Completely spent, Tristan slowly opened his eyes. "Thank you." She smiled and laid next to him, wrapping her legs in with his.

"I've never done that before, in front of anyone I mean." Tristan smiled. That knowledge made him feel important.

"If I had known you were going to do," he paused, "what you just did," she blushed, "I wouldn't have let you do all the work."

"Don't worry, you'll pay me back." She said with a wink.


	5. Save Tonight

A/N: Two chapters practically at once! You should feel lucky.

The next morning, Rory was gone when Tristan woke up. She had left a note saying that she was at graduation rehearsal and would be back around lunchtime. Tristan looked at his watch on the bedside table. It was Saturday morning and he was leaving in two days. Rory knew this, but they hadn't even brought it up yet. After last night, he knew that this was going to be the hardest thing he probably would ever have to do. He had fallen in love. After three weeks, only one of which they had spent together. How did this happen? He knew that he loved Rory. God, just thinking about her made him smile like a fool. He also knew that it was way too soon to admit this to her. He had less than forty-eight hours and he had to make them count.

OOOOO

Rory came back just as she had promised, but Tristan had already left. The note he had left on her pillow brought a smile to her face.

Mary,

Sorry we missed each other this morning. I've got some things to do but I'll call you when I get done. Hope rehearsal went well.

Tristan

OOOOO

Graduation day arrived and soon, Rory was standing on the other side of the stage, her mother, father, grandparents, and Tristan all cheering her on. All of her dreams were coming true. Lorelei beamed through the tears in her eyes as her daughter paused to glance into the audience, and after they had locked eyes, Rory's gaze traveled to Tristan. Lorelei looked over at him, he looked so proud. It was then that she realized that Tristan had taken the new spot in Rory's life. With a glance to Chris, Lorelei knew that he was thinking the same thing. He grabbed her hand and held it close. The ceremony quickly came to an end and Chris went to let go of Lorelei's hand but she grabbed him again.

"You did good, Lor." He whispered. "She's going to be fine. She's ready."

"I'm not ready." She said, fighting back tears. "It went too fast." He looked as if he was going to comment but then they realized that Rory was approaching.

"You did it Babe!" Lorelei said as she wrapped her arms around Rory. "How does it feel?"

"It feels strange. I'm not ready." She said. Chris laughed as Lorelei held Rory tighter.

"Thank you for saying that, however untrue it may be."

"Rory! We are so proud of you." Emily said as Rory looked over her shoulder.

"Thank you! If you could just give me a second, I'll meet you back at the house?"

"Of course! Congratulations." Rory turned around and saw him standing by a tree.

"Logan." She said as she approached him.

"Hi Ace."

"What are you doing here?"

"I know things ended badly, but I just wanted to say congratulations." Rory knew there was something that he was leaving out. Something else he wanted to say.

"Thank you. I appreciate that." Silence reigned for a minute.

"Well, good luck Ace. I'd kiss you goodbye, but it seems your boyfriend is watching." Rory stared at him.

"How did you…?" but Logan was already walking past her and towards Tristan.

"Huntzburger." Tristan smiled.

"Hey DuGray."

"You coming to the party?" He offered.

"No, just saying goodbye." Logan paused. "Don't hurt her."

"I couldn't." Tristan said. Logan's stomach turned at the answer, knowing that it was probably true. Tristan watched as Logan put on a brave smile and walked away.

OOOOO

"Having fun?" Tristan asked knowingly with a smile that made Rory go weak at the knees. She was totally basking in the glory of being a graduate.

"Hey." She gave him a hug and took in his cologne. She ignored the familiar tug in her abdomen as she pulled away. "Absolutely. Come on in, I think the entire town is here." She turned to go up the porch steps but he didn't move. "Aren't you coming?"

"Actually, I have to get going." It was the most reluctant she had ever heard his voice sound.

"What?! Why?" The disappointment was evident on her face.

"I still haven't packed yet and my flight leaves in," he checked his watch, "T minus twelve hours." He said. Rory closed her eyes. "I just came to say goodbye."

"Oh my God." She opened them again. "Tomorrow's Monday." He nodded. "I completely forgot you were leaving tomorrow! Why didn't you remind me?"

"Because it was your graduation day and I didn't want you to be sad."

"Too late." She said. He was about to speak again when she interrupted him. "I'm coming with you."

"I don't think you'll fit in my suitcase Mary." He joked.

"You know what I meant."

"What are you going to do, watch me pack?"

"Yes." She said, completely serious. "Mom! I'm leaving." She said through the screen door. "Come on."

"Rory, stop. It's your college grad party." Tristan looked at her like she was crazy. "You only get one." She had tears in her eyes and it was killing him.

"I don't care." She said stubbornly. "I'm coming with you and that's that." She opened the passenger door of his car and climbed in. He just stood there. "Well…are you coming?" She asked for the second time that night.

"Yeah, I guess so." He said, jogging in front of the car.

OOOOO

They drove in silence almost the entire way to his house.

"Come on in." He said, unlocking the front door. She had latched onto his hand and was refusing to let go. He led her throughout the house to his room. She finally let go as he pulled his suitcase out from under the bed. As he began pulling a shirt out of the closet, Rory took it from him and began folding it.

"Mary." He said, his heart breaking. She held up her hand, as if to say 'don't start' and placed the shirt in the suitcase. He took another shirt down and handed it to her, picking out another one for himself. Without any words, they continued until they had packed his entire suitcase. Rory reached out for another article of clothing, but Tristan held up his hands. Without something to focus her attention on, Rory's hands felt all too empty. She fidgeted, playing with her fingers. Tristan took her hands in his own, painfully aware of how she was feeling. The tears in her eyes were coming back. She knew if they stayed like this, she would fall apart.

Tristan leaned in to kiss her, willing to try anything to make himself feel better. Soon, both were drowning in each other, trying to soak up every last inch before it was too late. Rory broke the kiss, taking Tristan by surprise.

"What?" He looked concerned. She paused briefly before slipping her dress over her head, allowing Tristan's eyes to devour her body. He looked to her for some sort of confirmation that this is what she really wanted, afraid that if he asked out loud she would change her mind. She nodded, reading his mind.

"Are you sure?" He asked. Tristan knew that this would probably happen, but he didn't want to leave like this. He wanted to be happy, not miserable. He backed away from Rory, but she had pushed him up to the edge of his bed. He sat down, making room for her next to him. Rory fell onto the bed and he slowly moved on top of her. She kissed him excruciatingly slowly as she ran her hands across the back of his neck.

"Tristan," she whispered into his ear, "make love to me." She ran her tongue behind his earlobe, sucking and nibbling. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation; all doubts and thoughts completely succumbed to his body.

"My pleasure." He said, removing his clothes and the last of hers. Once he had finished, his hands returned to her hair and his lips traveled down her neck. She let out a groan of frustration as he toyed between the valley of her breasts. He chuckled as he looked up at her and then brushed his tongue along her nipple, giving her some satisfaction. He went slowly, memorizing every inch of her body, convinced that she could never look as beautiful as she did in this moment. The soft light from his lamp casting shadows over her. He followed her legs all the way to the top before stopping.

"I believe I owe you one." She moaned in anticipation as he took her hips in his hands to better reposition her, watching as he licked his lips. She hadn't expected him to do this. The minute his tongue entered her, she gasped, her heart racing. He sucked on her clit, ran his teeth over it and delved lower again, causing Rory to bite her lip to keep from screaming.

Her restrained cries only drove him on harder. He was dead set on getting her off, and loudly. Unfortunately, his mouth was a little busy at the moment. In a second, he had entered her. Inhaling sharply from the fullness within her, she closed her eyes. She felt his hot breath on her cheek.

"Come for me Rory." He commanded, his voice thick with lust as he began to move within her. She bit her lip. "Lose control." He said as he pushed into her harder. "I want to feel you screaming." It wasn't long before he was appeased. She had no control over her hips or her voice as she began to match her rhythm with moans. Her walls were closing in, tighter and tighter around him. The fire within her was building and the only thing she could focus on was going faster.

Tristan had never experienced something so right in his life. With every moan, he knew that nothing in the world could match it. He had no idea how, but he held on, convinced that he could never feel this way again. Soon, the moans had turned to shouting.

"Yes!" She cried, over and over, faster and faster, until her body exploded with pleasure. She shuddered hard, and rode out the orgasm.

"Fuck, Rory!" Tristan yelled as he came. He fell next to her, unable to hold himself up.

Her hands flew to her forehead, trying to return her breath to a relatively normal level. Her entire body had become one with the mattress.

"Oh God." She muttered, her hand in her hair. Once Tristan's brain had started functioning again, he answered her.

"Most people just call me Tristan, but God works, goes with the whole Mary thing." He said, still out of breath. Rory just scoffed, unable to reply.

"After I sleep, and probably eat. We," she paused, "are doing this…" she gesticulated between them "again." Tristan looked at her like she was crazy.

"I can't guarantee that I will survive it."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take." She said, seriously.

OOOOO

Tristan woke up the next morning before his alarm went off. They had secured another long round of love making before both collapsing out of sheer exhaustion. Glancing at his clock, he switched the alarm off so it wouldn't wake Rory up. He then turned to watch Rory sleep. She had kicked the comforter off and was wrapped up in his sheets. Her brown curls were splayed across the pillow and her creamy skin seemed flawless. For the first time in a long time, he slipped out of bed and grabbed a sketchbook from his suitcase. He had always been an avid artist, but he had always designed buildings. It kept him sane during the war, and especially during the long hospital stays. He was never satisfied with capturing people down on paper the way he wanted. He drew a thin line across the paper and on the right side, sketched the scene before him. On the left, he drew from memory what Rory had looked like the night before. Eyes closed and biting her lip, she was clutching at the sheets over her breasts. He was perfecting her arching back when he felt a stirring on the other side of the mattress. He threw the pad down on the floor and moved over to greet her.

"Good morning Mary." He whispered in her ear, causing her entire body to shiver.

"Couldn't sleep? I didn't hear you get up last night." Tristan looked at her strangely, a wave of realization hitting him.

"Actually," he paused, "I slept for the first time since the accident."

"No dreams?" Rory smiled at him.

"No. No dreams." Tristan smiled, a genuine smile that took Rory's breath away.

"Good." It was then that she realized what was coming. Tristan saw the smile fade from her face as he followed her eyes to his packed suitcase.

"We've got time for breakfast." He said. "Can I cook you something?"

"I'd like that."

"I'm gonna take a shower first, go back to sleep, I'll wake you when I get out." Rory smiled.

"I love you." Tristan smiled. They hadn't said those three words specifically yet, even if they felt it.

"I love you too." He kissed her forehead and she snuggled back into bed. As soon as she heard the water start, she moved to the edge of the bed. Her hand reached down under the dust ruffle and emerged again with the sketchbook in her hand. She opened the cover and saw an exquisite drawing of a building. As she turned the pages, she was enthralled by what she saw. She had no idea that Tristan was an artist. When she got through all the buildings, she came across the picture he had been drawing when she was pretending to sleep. Across the top of the page were the words "Mary: Between the sheets". The page, split in two, displayed her sleeping angelically and in a rather erotic pose. Rory blushed, even though no one was around.

"You found it already?" He said, partly joking. Rory's head snapped up at the sudden noise. Tristan's towel was slung across his hips, causing Rory to blush again as filthy thoughts ran through her head.

"I had no idea you could draw so well."

"It's just a sketch Rory." He said, sitting down next to her.

"No, it's amazing. Are these all your ideas?" She asked. He nodded. "They're beautiful. Honestly, Tris, they are." She added when he discarded her compliment with a shrug. "Promise me something?"

"Anything." He said, without looking up from his hands.

"Don't give up on this. You have way too much talent. And maybe someday you will design a building after me?" He smiled.

"If you were a building, you would be a cathedral."

"It's the Mary thing, isn't it?" She smiled. He nodded,

"And the stained glass." He said. "A unique and colorful masterpiece that stands alone," he paused. "Bringing light to the dreary gray world around you."

"Damn you're good." She said, shaking her head.


	6. Leaving on a jet plane

Disclaimer: I don't own jack.

Tristan threw his suitcase in the trunk and hopped into the back of the cab where Rory was already waiting. With a nervous smile, she wove her fingers through his. He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer to him. They were mostly silent on the way to the airport, though the trip was all too brief. Both of their heads were racing with what they wanted to say, what they should say, and what they should hold back.

"This is it." The driver said, parking the car.

"Already?" Rory asked, the fear of losing him evident in her voice. Tristan nodded and got out of the car. After paying the driver, Tristan pulled his suitcase out of the trunk and wrapped an arm around Rory.

"Let's go." He said, getting up the courage to walk through the doors. But Rory stood still as he started moving forward. "Mary." He coaxed her forward with a small smirk as he turned back to grab her arm again.

"Coming." She said reluctantly. They walked to the security checkpoint together. "This is about as far as they'll let me go." She said.

"I suppose so." He noticed the tears in her eyes. "Come here." He wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, you know that?" She nodded and wiped her eyes. She reached up and kissed him like she would never see him again. "Hey, none of that." He said as she pulled away. "We are going to see each other again. We found each other after almost seven years apart. You aren't getting rid of me that easy." She smiled through her tears.

"You'll call me the second the plane lands? And we'll figure out times to visit each other." He nodded. "And you can call me, day or night if you need to talk in between then."

"Yes mother." He said, laughing at her concerned expression.

"I'm serious. I worry about you being so far away.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be ok."

"Sir? Are you in line, Sir?" The security lady was motioning him through.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Go on. Have a good flight." With one more kiss, Rory turned and started walking away, convinced that if she stayed any longer, she wouldn't let him leave.

"Hey Mary!" He shouted to her. She turned around to see him once more. "I'll see you soon." She waved and watched as he went through security.

OOOOO

Rory drove straight home to Stars Hollow, tears threatening to fall the entire trip home. She parked the car and was walking towards the house when her mother met her on the porch.

"Tristan left for North Carolina," was all she said as her mother wrapped her arms around her and led her into the house.

"Oh kid, you'll be okay. You can call, text, email, IM…the list goes on and on." She sniffed and nodded.

"I know."

"It's going to be fine. Do you want to have a movie night tonight? Pizza, chinese, Al's?" She shook her head.

"I just want to go lie down for awhile." She said. Lorelei knew that she needed a good cry, so she didn't fight her on it.

"Maybe later then." She said as Rory got up and walked into her room. She shut the door and finally collapsed into silent tears. She hit the fetal position on her bed and hugged her pillow. She was so involved in her own thoughts that she never heard the knock on the front door. She heard the footsteps outside of her own door and the doorknob turning slowly. She figured it was her mother and maintained her gaze on the wall. The door opened.

"Mom, I really don't want to talk about it." She said.

"That's okay Mar, I don't plan on talking." She whipped around at the first sound of his voice. He was standing there, with a smirk firmly planted on his face. She didn't even question what he was doing there; she just ran over to him and jumped into his arms. After a brief kiss, she hit his arm.

"Ow!" He rubbed his arm, shocked. "What was that for?"

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I couldn't do it. As I looked back and saw you walking away I thought 'What are you going home to?' and I couldn't do it. I called Ryan and told him I had to stay a little longer. The next thing I know I'm in a cab here."

"You were going home to your life, your family, your college!" She said, still unable to believe that he was standing here.

"And baring a nuclear attack on Raleigh, all of those things will be there when I get back. They aren't going anywhere."

"Neither am I." She said, kissing him again, this time he deepened the kiss. She pulled away. "My mom." She whispered.

"Has already left for work." He said as his lips traveled to her collarbone. She moaned at the sensation. He had just gotten her to the bed when her cell phone rang. She pulled away from him and looked at it.

"I should get that." She said as he gave her one more kiss. She reached over and grabbed the phone from her dresser. "Rory Gilmore." She said. Tristan's lips were slowly discovering the skin on her hip appearing between her shirt and jeans.

"Miss Gilmore, I'm calling on behalf of Jane Stevenson." Rory's eyes got wide as she pushed Tristan off of her.

"Yes?"

"We were wondering if you were still available for our online publication?"

"Yes!" She said. "Absolutely!"

"Great, would you be available for an introductory meeting Friday at nine?"

"I will be there. Thank you so much for the opportunity."

"Thank you Miss Gilmore, we are excited to be working with you." She hung up the phone and started freaking out.

"Who was that?" Tristan asked.

"I got a job!" She screamed.

"Rory! That's great! Where?" Tristan was impressed with how well he covered up the fear in his voice.

"Well, that's the thing. It's with an online magazine, Blurb, have you ever heard of it?" Tristan shook his head. "That's okay, it's not the Times, but it _is_ the fastest growing online magazine in the U.S." She said, shaking from her excitement.

"This is a big deal! I'm so proud of you." He said, kissing her forehead.

"Thank you. Oh, this day keeps getting better and better! I've got to call my mom!" Tristan smiled at her. She was so cute when she was happy.

OOOOO

"Hey Ror! Where do we keep the fancy glasses?" Lorelei shouted from the kitchen.

"We don't have fancy glasses." She answered back.

"Yeah, of course we do."

"When was the last time we used them?" Rory asked, knowing full well that they didn't have anything.

"Um," she scoffed, "the last time we celebrated, duh!"

"Uh huh."

"We seriously don't have fancy glasses?" She asked. "Have we never celebrated anything before? What sad lives we have. I have failed!" She cried, throwing her hand over her eyes dramatically.

"Don't worry, I got the plastic fancy glasses." Tristan said as he entered through the backdoor, the bag of groceries covering his face.

"Bless you child!" She threw her arms around the bag of groceries. She went to unpacking the groceries as Tristan grabbed Rory by the arm and led her into the living room.

"So you'll never guess who I ran into." He said, showing her the fresh red mark on his chin.

"Oh my God! Tristan! What happened?"

"Dean happened." Rory couldn't fathom what he was saying.

"Wait, what?" 

"I was in the store getting everything when this guy named Taylor shows up and asks me if I'm new in town. I told him what I was doing here and who I was and why I was buying so much junk food."

"Just a forewarning, the entire town will know who you are by…. Now." She said. "Moving on."

"Right, so I'm filling up the basket and Dean comes up to me, calls me an accountant, it was like a reunion." Rory rolled her eyes. "So now _he_ wants to know what the Hell I am doing in _his_ town.

"But why would he do that? I mean, I haven't dated him for years."

"Like I can explain Bagboy's rationale? Anyway, I explain to him, nice and slow so he'll understand, that you got a new job and Lorelei was throwing a little celebration party and we needed supplies. And he asked why you would invite me, so I told him we were dating."

"And he didn't take it well?"

"He took it to my chin." He said, rubbing it.

"Oh, you poor baby." She said, "Did it hurt?"

"Nah. It just surprised me more than anything."

"I promise, tonight I'll make it up to you." Tristan raised his eyebrows.

"What did you have in mind?"

"You'll just have to wait and see." She said, her lips mere inches from his. "And feel. And taste." He sighed into her mouth as she kissed him.

"AH! Rory, what did Mommy tell you about giving a signal when you are making out with your hunky boyfriend?" Lorelei said, covering her eyes.

"You think I'm hunky?" Tristan asked her.

OOOO

When the celebrating was over, Lorelei had sent Rory and Tristan to stay at the Inn for the night. It was way too late for Tristan to drive back to Hartford. Rory grabbed a key to an open room from behind the desk, and slipped her hand into Tristan's free hand. They snuck up the stairs.

"Here you go." Rory whispered, ushering him in. Tristan looked around and smiled.

"It's nice." He said as she shut the door.

"Yeah, it is." Tristan set his bag on a chair and collapsed spread eagle on the bed.

"Long day." Rory said as she sat down next to him, rubbing her neck. He propped himself up on his elbow and leaned forward and kissed her shoulder.

"Is your neck hurting?" He asked, sitting up.

"No, it's fine, it's just a little tight." She said, taking her hand away.

"Well, I can fix that." Tristan said as he rubbed his hands together. He placed them on her shoulders, rubbing his thumbs into her neck. Instantly, Rory's muscles turned to mush. She moaned at the relief. "A little tight? Your muscles are like rocks, what have you been doing lately?"

"Graduating from college." She sighed. "It's not as easy as it looks."

"I can do a better job, but it's going to require you removing your shirt." He smiled.

"How convenient. I suppose it's only fair, what with your manual labor and all. I suppose I can give you a little perk. Maybe you'll do it more." He giggled as she lifted her shirt over her head. He flipped her around so he could actually see her. His breath hitched as he saw what she was wearing. A black lace bra that was practically see through was teasing him as she watched his reaction.

"Where have you been hiding this?" He asked her as he ran a finger along the lace that edged the top of her bra. He paused as he quickly opened the clasp between her cleavage, freeing her breasts. She shrugged the rest of the bra off her shoulders and lay down on the bed. He continued his ministrations all the way up and down her back, listening to her pleasure filled sighs.

"Oh God," she moaned. "That's heaven." She could practically feel his sexual frustration so she figured she would push the envelope. "Mmm, Tristan. Right there, oh yes, harder." He followed her every command until he just couldn't take it anymore. His hands began to roam until his fingers were massaging the edges of her breasts. Rory moved so that his hands were granted access to her nipples. He was now massaging her chest and kissing the back of her neck.

"Do you know how hot you are?" He whispered, rubbing himself into her. "Can you feel how hard you make me?" She whimpered a reply and he turned her over. Before she had realized it, he had quickly undressed both of them. His hands pinned her arms to the bed as he began to kiss his way down her stomach. She wriggled underneath him until he let her go. She wrapped her hands around the back of his head and pushed him lower until she felt him licking at her.

"Shit." She arched into him. "Tristan." He got her inches from the ledge before stopping and climbing back to the top of the bed. He hovered over her as Rory whimpered. "Please."

"You want it, don't you." Rory nodded. "Feel how wet you are." He said, rubbing the tip of his cock against her. "You're dripping for me aren't you?" She had never been this wet for anyone, ever.

"Tristan!" She yelled and thrust into him.

"Na ah ah." He reprimanded her. "You did the teasing now you have to deal with the consequences. Tell me what you want."

"I want you," she moaned.

"What do you want?"

"You." She said a little louder. He rewarded her by finally entering her. Rory screamed in delight as she came hard and fast around him.


	7. Something to sleep to

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Rory stared at the ceiling. Only one thought was traipsing through her head. He had come back for her. She was flattered, but she didn't want him to give up his life for her. He was showing a lot of commitment by sticking in Stars Hollow. How long was he going to stay? He had to go back eventually. More importantly, what was he expecting by coming back? She loved him, but they only just met. She wasn't even planning on having another relationship for a long time. Logan had taught her that. Once she settled down, she was going to start a life. That was the plan. Tristan shifted in his sleep and she felt guilty. She should appreciate having him here. She could be crying right now because he had gone.

"Hey, can't sleep?" He asked, his own voice thick with sleep.

"I'm fine, just go back to bed." She said as she kissed his forehead and snuggled into him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He shifted to see her better in the dark room. "I know you're nervous about your new job. It might help." Rory started breathing normally again. He didn't know.

"You're right, I just," She yawned. "I'm tired. Not much in the mood for conversation." He smiled.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, I'm here." He could see her grin, even in the dark.

"You're here." She kissed him softly. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." He pulled her in and kissed her again. "Now go to sleep." She obeyed.

OOOOO

When Rory got done with her meeting with Blurb, she was practically bouncing her knee through the table waiting for Tristan to meet her at a coffee shop nearby. He had driven her into the city and he was walking around, getting reacquainted with New York. He hadn't been back since he had left for North Carolina. She knew what she was about to do was crazy. But for once in her life, she needed to jump. She didn't know why, but she was more excited than nervous. No list, no thinking, just…diving in. She looked up as she heard the bell on the door ring, she smiled as he found her in the crowded room. She waved and he walked over and kissed her.

"How did it go?" He asked. He could tell that she was excited.

"Well. And actually, I have a proposition for you." He smirked and raised his eyebrow.

"Oh really?"

"Stop it. You know what I mean."

"No, actually I don't. Fill me in." She took a deep breath.

"Because I have a job where I can write anywhere, thank God for the internet, I was thinking that I could possibly, if you were okay with it of course, and I'm assuming you will be because you stayed here instead of getting on that plane…"

"Ror." She was babbling. He smiled as she finally paused.

"Sorry, maybe I could come down and live with you for the summer?" He sat back in his chair.

"Really." he said staring at her in disbelief. "You would move to North Carolina, leave your mother and your grandparents and the life you are living, for me?"

"Yeah, I mean, you did the same thing for me. Plus, I want to see you in your natural habitat." He smiled at the phrase. "And if we completely hate it, I can always just come back to Hartford." He didn't know why, but he was actually uneasy about the whole situation. This was a big step especially because it was one that he had never taken before. "What are you thinking?" She asked, nervously.

"I'm thinking… that my answer is yes." He said.

"Are you sure?" He nodded.

"If you're really sure about this, than I don't see why not. But what are you going to tell your mother?"

"That I'm in love." Tristan's eyes met hers and electricity sizzled. She didn't understand how it happened but occasionally they would have these moments where the world stopped and they were the only two people who existed; and it seemed to be happening a lot more lately.

Tristan's heart skipped a beat as his eyes met hers. He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. He wove his fingers through hers and smiled. This was going to be good.

OOOOO

Within a matter of weeks, Rory was on a plane and Tristan was waiting at the airport to pick her up. He couldn't believe that she was going to live here for the entire summer. Smiling as he spotted her through the crowds, she ran over to him. He wrapped her in a big hug and kissed her.

"I missed you." She said, holding him tight.

"It was only a few weeks!" She looked at him.

"I know, but I still did." He smiled at her answer.

"I missed you too." He admitted. "Come on, let's go get your stuff." They found the luggage and loaded it into his car.

"So how have you been?" Rory asked as they rode back to his house.

"I've been good, and yourself?" He smiled at her and her attempts to make small talk.

"Good, busy mostly. A new job, a new house, a new state." She paused. "A new boy, its all a lot to take in." She said with a tired smile.

"I bet. We're almost there," He said, acknowledging how tired she looked. She closed her eyes, happy to finally be here with him. As the car stopped, Rory opened her eyes. Tristan was looking at her. "Here I thought I was going to have to carry you _and_ your luggage in the house."

"You still could." She said with a lazy smile. He looked at her like she was crazy. "Fine." She stepped out of the car. He unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"Here we are." He said, doing his best Vanna White impersonation. After giving her the tour, she realized that he hadn't shown her the bedroom.

"And the bedroom?" She asked.

"Saving the best for last." He said, grabbing her suitcases and angling his head towards the hallway. "Follow me." She followed orders and went down the hall. He had a large king-sized bed that Rory immediately claimed as she jumped into it. She sighed and stretched, her shirt raising a little to expose the flesh on her hip. She crawled up to the pillows and sighed.

"I like it here." She spoke softly. "It's very homey. I honestly didn't expect a lot, all things considered."

"What can I say, I like to exceed the low expectations set around me." He joked. She rolled her eyes.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

"Come here." She curled her finger towards her. This time it was his turn to follow orders. He pulled her in and on top of him as he lay down next to her. "I've missed the smell of your cologne." She murmured as she snuggled into his neck. The sleep deprivation allowing her to speak freely. He was about to comment, but when he looked down, she was already asleep. He kissed her and pulled her tighter to him.

OOOOO

When Rory woke up, she didn't know where she was. With a jolt, she sat up and tried to get her bearings.

"It's Saturday, go back to bed." Tristan grumbled as he pulled her back down to the pillows. She realized she was still in the clothes she wore the day before and instantly felt gross.

"I need a shower, it's been twenty four hours and a plane ride since I've changed clothes." She whispered. "I'm disgusting."

"Mmkay." Tristan muttered from his half conscious state. Unpacking her suitcase, she pulled out her bathroom stuff and a new set of clothes. She had planned on unpacking when she had gotten there the night before, but obviously that was going to have to wait until the afternoon. She ran a tub full of hot, bubbly water and sank in, allowing the grime to disintegrate from her body. She hadn't been in the tub long when Tristan stuck his head in the bathroom door.

"Feeling better?" He asked. She nodded, slightly surprised to see him. "I made coffee, if you want some."

"I'd love some." He walked in and handed her a cup. "Thank you." She took it from him and sipped it gratefully.

"Your welcome." He was about to leave when Rory said his name. He turned, wondering what she needed.

"I think there's room in here for two, if you want to join me." He smiled at the offer.

"I don't usually do the whole bath thing." Tristan said honestly. "I think its part of the male programming at birth." Rory smiled.

"That's ok. I understand." She said, standing up and revealing her naked, wet body. "The water is getting cold anyway." She released the stopper and the water began to drain. Tristan's eyes wandered over her body as she reached for a towel. She stepped out of the tub and put her foot on the edge of the counter and began drying her leg. Tristan was pretty sure he was drooling, but he didn't care. She wrapped herself in the towel. Rory pulled out a bottle of lotion and slowly rubbed some over each leg, taking her time to tease Tristan. He had never wished for anything more in his life than he wished he could be that lotion as she spread it across her entire body. Once she was finished, she glanced at Tristan. "I've got some extra lotion, you want some?" She looked at him with her big eyes, feigning innocence. He shook his head at her. She shrugged and left the bathroom, secretly satisfied with herself. She got to the bedroom and realized she had left her change of clothes in the bathroom so she turned around and headed back down the hall. The door was open a crack and Tristan was undressed. He turned the shower on, but didn't get in. Instead, he began touching himself. His back to her, he put his other hand on the wall over the toilet.

"Oh yes." He muttered under his breath. Rory blushed, she felt like she was spying. She had never seen a man masturbate before and she was curious. She opened the door a little bit wider. He groaned as his hips began to move. The door creaked. Rory froze, not knowing what to do, but Tristan just moaned her name a little louder and continued what he was doing. He was apparently close as he pumped faster. He came hard, exploding in his own hand. Rory watched as he gained his composure, he opened the shower and climbed in, never once noticing her. She grabbed her clothes from the counter and knocked something else to the floor. It was Tristan's hearing aid. He wore it in his left ear, but it was so small, Rory often forgot it existed. She picked it up and put it back on the counter. He never heard her enter, he certainly couldn't hear her now with the shower running. She had planned on joining him in the shower, but now the thought of scaring him half to death made her change her mind. Instead, she left the bathroom and laid back down on his bed. She would just have to wait for him.

When Tristan emerged from the bathroom, he had his towel slung across his hips in that way that drove Rory insane. He saw her lying on the bed and smiled.

"I figured you would be dressed and unpacked by now." He said.

"I forgot my clothes in the bathroom." She said. "I went back to get them just in time to see a show." Tristan froze, his back to her. "You don't have to do that anymore you know. I was planning on taking care of that for you." He turned around and saw that she had removed her towel.

"Sometimes I forget. You can't blame me. I have spent the last six years in the military, surrounded by men." He said as she got off the bed and wrapped her arms around him, pushing the towel off his hips.

"Well then, you have a lot of catching up to do." He licked his lips. "And the next time you plan on doing… that, let me know." She whispered as she kissed his collarbone.

OOOOO

Tristan woke up with a jolt. His nightmares were growing consistently worse. He glanced at the clock and then at Rory, who was stirring, but not awake. His hand was shaking as he realized how close he was to grabbing Rory's arm. He knew that it was going to happen. The anniversary of his accident was coming up. He thought that maybe with Rory around, it wouldn't be so bad. When he was in Iraq, he didn't sleep for that entire week. His guys would protect him from himself when he would get scary. Now, he was alone with Rory. He opened his bed table drawer and sighed. He quickly shut it and turned to face the other wall. The last thing he needed was for Rory to wake up right now. In Iraq, he slept with it under his pillow, now, that wasn't an option. He tried to smile as Rory pulled the covers over to her side. She was truly adorable when she slept. He wished that she could say the same thing about him. She didn't deserve what was about to happen. In the morning, he would suggest going to Stars Hollow for a visit or something, anything to get her out of the house.

Rory waited until his breathing evened out again before opening her eyes. She had heard him talking in his sleep for two nights in a row. It always killed her not to comfort him, but she knew that Tristan would feel worse if he realized that she knew how bad they were getting. He had always woken up and opened his drawer. Tomorrow, she was going to figure out what was in that drawer.


	8. Forget

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: This is the last chapter! I rewrote it because I thought it was too intense, so I toned it down a bit, but this is what life is like for far too many people coming home from war.

When Tristan entered the house that night, it was eerily quiet.

"Babe?" He called down the hall. He heard a noise coming from the bedroom so he set down his stuff and walked towards the bedroom. "Hey, I didn't think you were…" He turned the corner to find her sitting on the floor in his room, a cardboard box and a knife sitting next to her. She stared at him with tears in her eyes. Tristan immediately broke eye contact and started staring at the wall behind her.

"Were you going to tell me about this?" She asked, the anger evident in her voice. He couldn't deal with this, not now. "Were you?" He didn't answer her. "Answer me, damn it!" She was freaking out.

"I can't do this." He said, completely overwhelmed at the thought of dealing with the situation. He walked out of the room but Rory followed him.

"You had a knife in your bedside table, Tristan. A knife! What the hell were you planning on doing with it?" At that, he snapped.

"Don't you ever, ever ask me that!" The fear in her eyes did nothing to stop him. "You have no idea what I've been through. While you were sitting in your precious guesthouse with your 'issues', I was either killing or dying; either way, you have no right. None!" He shouted at her, the tears streaming down her cheeks. He had her up against the wall, screaming at her at the top of his lungs.

"I'm sorry." She cried. He stormed out of the house, leaving her alone as she fell to the floor.

OOOOO

It was almost three in the morning when Tristan finally got home. He had been at the bar until closing, drowning himself in his memories. The guilt from the afternoon wasn't helping. He was pissed that she had found his box, even angrier that she had found the knife. He had no guilt for what he said. She didn't have a right to judge him, he was broken, and she knew that. He had explained it to her many times on so many levels, but this was his Mary he was talking about. She never faked the doe-like Bambi eyes she gave him, she was so naïve….

OOOOO

Rory was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep after what had happened. She had talked to her mother, who didn't like what Rory had to share. She actually was worried for her own safety, but she had to believe that Tristan would not hurt her. But she hadn't seen Tristan today, it was someone else. It was then that she remembered the box. She tiptoed out of bed and brought the shoebox out from the bedside table. Glancing at the knife nervously, she quickly shut the drawer. She lifted the lid and was confronted with the picture that had brought her to tears. Tristan, lying on a hospital bed, wires stemming from a variety of machines attached to him. It was the day after his accident. The date on the back was a couple of days ago. That's why the symptoms had been so bad lately, it was an anniversary, she realized. Feeling completely horrible, she kept going. A purple heart, a picture of his unit with ten blacked out names on the back.

"Men who died." She heard from the doorway. She jumped a mile. Tristan stumbled his way to the bed and Rory froze. She didn't trust him anymore, especially when he was drunk. He grabbed the box and started rifling through it until he got to a Polaroid of an Iraqi girl, stuffed at the bottom of the box. She looked to be about 12. "Dead, because of me." He said, his eyes turning black.

"What?" She asked. 'And here comes the Bambi look,' he thought.

"I talked to her, via a translator. Her father started shouting and the next thing I know, I'm on the ground and she's just…pink mist." He started laughing. She didn't think it was funny.

"Tristan," she was seriously concerned. "You're drunk."

"I'm not…okay, maybe a little drunk." He fumbled with his watch and put it on the dresser. He grabbed his pillow and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Why?"

"Because if I don't, I might wake up with my hand on your throat." He said honestly and left the room. Rory's heart stopped beating. He was serious.

OOOOO

The next morning, Rory came out to find Tristan showered and sitting on the couch. She couldn't look him in the eye.

"Hey." He said. When he got no response he tried again. "Rory, can I talk to you?" He asked as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. He reached out to touch her and she pulled away frightened. Tristan's stomach plummeted to his feet. He immediately regretted everything that had happened yesterday. "I'm sorry. About, God, about everything. I want to talk to you about this, I do, but it's just that you are…You're protected, shielded from everything. You're my Mary," He moved her hair out of her face and she shivered. "and I want you to stay that way. I never want you to ever hear about any of it, you can't even begin to understand what knowledge like that does to you."

"Tristan, if you are going through something, you have to tell me. Even if you just tell me that you are going through something and not to bother you about it."

"Rory, it's not something you bring up in conversation. 'Hey baby, I'm gonna sleep on the couch for the next week so I don't kill you in our sleep'."

"You had a knife. You had a knife in our bedroom and you didn't tell me about it. Why is it there?"

"I sleep better knowing it's there."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I need it to protect myself, to protect you!" He was starting to yell.

"From what?" She was counteracting him. Never raising it, her voice was calm, soothing almost.

"I just….I need it. Trust me, I just need to know it's there." The desperation in his voice was shattering to her. She knew that he believed what he was saying one hundred percent, his eyes pleading with her.

"Do you love me?" She asked him quietly.

"Of course I do."

"Will you do something for me?" He looked at her, afraid that he couldn't do what she was about to ask. "Will you see someone about this?" He closed his eyes. "I know that you've tried before, but Tristan, this is more than just bad dreams. This is getting scary for me."

"Scary for you? Do you think I like this? Do you think I choose to live like this? I can't walk down the street without checking every single rooftop for snipers. I can tell you exactly what every single person in a block's radius around me is wearing and what they look like."

"Which is why I want you to get help. You can't talk about it with me, but maybe you can talk to someone else, learn to live again Tristan. It doesn't have to be this way. You can put this all behind you and just forget abou…"

"Maybe I don't want to forget!" He yelled. Rory's gaze hit the floor, his words reverberating throughout the silent room. When she finally looked up again, she wasn't surprised by what she saw. He stood shaking, unable to calm his frazzled nerves, clenching and unclenching his left fist, as if he were a metronome, keeping perfect time to his frustration. She watched for a minute, her eyes traveling to that small scar she had first noticed. She nodded slowly, acquiescing to his anger. He sat down on the couch. Without saying a word, she walked over slowly and stood in front of him.

"Ok." She whispered her voice so soft that he struggled to hear it over his own heavy breathing. Yet, there was something in it that finally broke him. Maybe it was the guilt for yelling at her, maybe it was the fact that he knew she was right. But for whatever reason, the tears were finally allowed to flow freely for the first time since the accident. She pulled him in like a child. He latched onto her by the hips and pressed his forehead into her abdomen. If Rory was taken aback by the action, she never showed it. She just kept her hands around his head, holding him close.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." She whispered. "None of it was your fault." He cried until he didn't have any tears left.

OOOOO

That next afternoon, Tristan was in a therapist's office. The fact that Rory was so scared of him she wouldn't even let him touch her arm was enough. But he also realized there was something in what he had said earlier, about not wanting to forget. Deep down, he was doing this to himself. He was holding on to this and not dealing with it.

"Tristan, you can never forget. The things that happened to you out there were life-altering. But you can cope. You can learn how to live with this so it isn't interfering with your daily life." Tristan wanted to believe her, but it was hard. "I know right now it seems like a long way off." She paused as if to ponder her next steps. "Could you come back tomorrow at four? There's someone I want you to meet."

OOOOO

Tristan returned the next day, just like he was asked. When he was allowed to step into the office, he was surprised by what he saw. Sitting in the patient's chair was his commanding officer, but he didn't look surprised to see Tristan. He saluted, out of habit and sat down next to him.

"Welcome Tristan. I'm sure you know Thomas." He nodded. "Well, we are going to have a group discussion today, if that's okay with you." She added. He nodded, still not speaking a word.

"DuGray, I'm a patient of the good doctor as well."

"Why are you here, sir?" He asked, finally finding his voice.

"The same reason you are son. I feel like I failed them, you." He said to Tristan. This was mind-blowing to him. Thomas had done everything in his power to get the unit everything they could possible want. He worked harder than anyone else to keep them safe. The therapist caught the look that Tristan let cross his features.

"Tristan, do you have anything you want to say."

"You didn't fail us. You did the best you could do. We couldn't have asked for a better CO."

"Ten men. Ten. I have to live with that number for the rest of my life. Nothing I do can ease the pain of their wives, their mothers. That's on me."

"We all have to live with that number. But what about all the men you saved. What about me?" Tristan looked at him. It was much easier easing his CO's pain than dealing with his own. "I'm here today because you got me out. I have been given the most wonderful second chance with a girl who I thought was long gone. That's on you too. My happiness, my future. You've changed my life forever."

"And look where you are sitting." Thomas said.

"I'm breathing. I've never been happier. So I'm a tad broken, you can't see what we've seen and not have some issues."

"I think what Tristan is saying is very wise." The therapist intervened.

"No one has ever accused me of being wise before." Tristan said to Thomas. They both laughed.

"I would highly recommend you two talking with each other more about this. I think it's very important that you two have the same experiences to fall back on and you can relate to each other. For homework, I would like you two to get together and just talk. It doesn't even have to be about this, just go out and live your lives as normally as possible. Thank you, you may go." She added to Tristan. He nodded. On the drive home, he thought about the session that day. He had never seen his CO in any situation other than on the job. Seeing that human side of him was comforting and disturbing all at the same time. When he got home, he found Rory cooking in the kitchen.

"Smells good." He threw his keys onto the table, not bothering to walk over and kiss her. He couldn't bear seeing her shrink from his touch.

"Wanna taste?" She asked as she held out the spoon. It was an invitation to invade her personal space and Tristan was more than happy to accept it. He took the spoon in his mouth.

"Mm, tastes good too. When did you learn how to cook?"

"In college. Ivy league has it's perks, but good food is not one of them." He smiled a truly genuine smile and it took her breath away. "You're smiling." She said with a grin. "That's good. It means that it's helping." Tristan didn't need clarification on the 'it'.

"You make me smile." She looked him, her smile fading into a serious expression. "You're the reason I get out of bed in the morning." Rory glanced down but he caught her chin and pulled her back up to meet his eyes. "The reason I'm still breathing? It's you." Rory closed her eyes as the tears began to slide down her cheeks.

"Tristan." She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, her tears staining his collar. His hands came up the back of her neck and laced through her hair. He held her there, not wanting to ever let her go.

"I don't know where I would be without you, but I know it wouldn't be good." He murmured through her hair.

"I'm so sorry for everything."

"Shhh. It's okay." She pulled away, wiping her eyes.

"Remember what I said that day you didn't get on the plane? I'm not going anywhere. I meant it then and I mean it now. I love you." The devotion in her voice eased any pain that Tristan could possibly be feeling. "We are going to get through this, I promise." Tristan nodded and pulled her in again.

"Thank you." Those two little words spoke volumes to Rory. She knew what he meant. Thank you for staying here, for easing my pain, for forcing me to get help, for loving me, for being in my life. It was her favorite part of their relationship. They knew each other, better than they knew themselves sometimes.

"You're welcome." And with those two little words, Tristan finally felt like he could start living.

In the words of the Madeline books: "That's all there is, there isn't anymore." I hope everyone enjoyed this story. I tried to end it on a happy note, although it seemed like a stretch after writing about such awful stuff to give them a perfect fairy tale ending.


End file.
